Freedom to Dream

Years ago while in the middle of another of my great projects for church, I wished for the freedom to write without having to stop to feed babies, pick up groceries, work a nine to five, cook dinner for hungry mouths, and a million other chores that take away from my writing time.  I dreamt of waking up, and after a few neccessary routines, enter into my writer's world and not emerge until several hours had pass and my muse was licking her lips full and satisfied.

Well I got the time. Five years ago, I left my job and decided I would write for my life.  A dream? Of course.  But no one told me that my writing would have to be proven by the masses that be.  I found myself terrified wondering if I had what it took to make it in the real writer's world.  My fears brought on a terrific case of writer's block in which took at least a year to get over.  Secondly, my dream didn't work because, I now found myself worrying about money.  Oh yes I had a husband who was caring for me but I had a desire to pull my own weight.  Thirdly, I needed a better computer.  Mine was ancient.  Fourthly, I needed another car.  My husband and I shared one and that hindered me from taking my afternoon brouse through the bookstores to clear my head after the writing stinct.  In short, it wasn't the lack of time that hindered me from writing, it was the decision to write or the lack of.

Now six years later, I look back and realize that dreaming is a lot easier than living for real.  I still love writing and am committed to it but without placing butt in chair and hammering out words with some sense of consistency, its only a dream.  Dreams don't pay, work does.

So if you have a dream and you also have lots of reasons why you can't find time and space to write now, you probably won't write when you have plenty of time either.